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Honest facts, in plain words.

The things you wish someone had explained to you, without the big grammar. Pick a topic, then tap any guide to read it.

YOUR BODYYour cycle and your fertile windowWhen in the month you are most likely to conceive.Read
  • A cycle runs from the first day of one period to the day before the next. Anywhere from 21 to 35 days is normal.
  • You ovulate (release an egg) about 14 days before your next period, not always on day 14.
  • Your fertile window is the 5 days before ovulation plus the day itself. Sperm can live for up to 5 days, the egg for about a day.
  • Sex every 2 to 3 days through the month covers the window without the pressure of timing. Ovulation test kits can help you spot it.
WHEN TO ASKWhen to see a doctorYou don’t have to wait years. Here is the usual guide.Read
  • Under 35: after 12 months of trying.
  • 35 or older: after 6 months.
  • See someone sooner if your periods are irregular or missing, very painful or very heavy, if you know you have PMOS (PCOS), fibroids or endometriosis, if you have had a pelvic infection or surgery, or if your husband has any concerns.
  • You are not overreacting by asking early.
ASKQuestions to take to your doctorScreenshot these before your next appointment.Read
  • What tests do we both need, and what will each one tell us?
  • What do you think is the most likely reason, and what is the plan if this doesn’t work?
  • How long should we try this step before moving on?
  • What will this cost in total, including drugs and scans?
  • Is there anything I should stop taking or start taking?
  • Can my husband come with me, and when will he be tested?
YOUR BODYTracking ovulationSimple ways to spot your most fertile days.Read
  • Ovulation test kits pick up the hormone surge (LH) that comes before ovulation. You usually ovulate a day or so after a positive test.
  • Body temperature rises slightly after ovulation. It confirms ovulation happened, but only afterwards.
  • Cervical mucus turns clear, slippery and stretchy, like raw egg white, as ovulation gets close.
  • Period apps guess from past cycles, so they are less reliable if your cycle varies.
  • If your cycles are very irregular or you never get a positive test, see a doctor.
YOUR BODYThe two-week waitThe days between ovulation and your period, without losing your mind.Read
  • An embryo implants about 6 to 10 days after ovulation. Pregnancy tests look for a hormone (hCG) made after that.
  • Home tests are most reliable from the day your period is due. Testing earlier can give a negative even if you are pregnant.
  • Cramps, tiredness or light spotting can happen whether you are pregnant or not, so try not to read every sign.
  • Plan something kind for yourself, and lean on your Sisters in the Parlour.
TESTS FOR HERFertility tests explainedWhat each test checks, in plain words.Read
  • Day 2–5 blood tests (FSH, LH, estradiol): how your ovaries and hormones are working at the start of your cycle.
  • AMH: a guide to your egg reserve. A low number does not mean you can’t conceive; it helps plan treatment.
  • Progesterone, about 7 days before your period: confirms whether you ovulated.
  • Thyroid and prolactin: both can upset ovulation and are easy to check.
  • Pelvic ultrasound: looks at your womb and ovaries for fibroids, cysts and follicles.
  • HSG: a dye X-ray that shows whether your tubes are open.
TESTS FOR HIMIt’s not always the womanMen’s fertility matters just as much, and his test is the simplest.Read
  • Male factors are involved in many couples’ struggles to conceive. Testing him early saves time, money and blame.
  • A semen analysis checks sperm count, movement and shape. He usually abstains for 2 to 5 days before.
  • One abnormal result is often repeated, because results vary from week to week.
  • Heat, smoking, heavy drinking and some supplements sold for “strength” can affect sperm. Many causes are treatable.
TESTS FOR HERBlocked tubes and the HSGWhat the dye test shows and what happens next.Read
  • An HSG passes dye through the cervix while an X-ray shows whether it flows freely through your tubes. It is usually done after your period and before ovulation.
  • It can cramp. Ask your doctor whether to take a painkiller beforehand.
  • Tubes can be blocked after infections (including untreated sexually transmitted infections), surgery or endometriosis.
  • Some blockages can be treated with surgery; IVF works around the tubes. A swollen, fluid-filled tube may need treating before IVF.
  • No herb, massage or drink can open blocked tubes.
TESTS FOR BOTHGenotype and planning a familyWhy knowing both your genotypes matters.Read
  • Both partners should know their genotype (AA, AS, SS, AC and so on), confirmed at a reliable lab. Mistakes happen, so a repeat test is worth it.
  • If you are both AS, each pregnancy has a 1 in 4 chance of a baby with sickle cell disease (SS).
  • Options include testing during pregnancy, or IVF with embryo testing where available. Talk them through with your doctor.
  • Knowing early lets you plan with calm, not fear.
CONDITIONSPMOS (formerly PCOS) in plain wordsA common hormone and metabolism condition, now with a new name.Read
  • New name, same condition. In May 2026, experts renamed PCOS to PMOS: polyendocrine metabolic ovarian syndrome. The change is happening worldwide until 2028, so your doctor or clinic may still say PCOS.
  • Why the change? It was never really about “cysts”. It affects your hormones and your metabolism, not just your ovaries.
  • It can mean irregular or missing periods, acne, extra hair growth, weight changes and many small follicles on a scan. Not everyone has all of these.
  • Many women with PMOS conceive. Healthy habits help, and medicines that help you ovulate are often the first step.
  • Because it affects metabolism, ask about checks for blood sugar and blood pressure too, and how you will be monitored.
CONDITIONSFibroids and fertilityVery common, and not always the reason.Read
  • Fibroids are non-cancerous growths in the womb. They are very common in Black women.
  • Many fibroids don’t affect fertility at all. Where they sit matters more than how many: ones inside the womb lining are more likely to.
  • Ask your doctor: where are they, how big are they, and are they likely to affect pregnancy?
  • If surgery (myomectomy) is offered, ask about recovery time and when you can try again.
CONDITIONSEndometriosisWhen period pain is not “normal”.Read
  • Tissue like the womb lining grows outside the womb, causing painful periods, pain during sex or pelvic pain. It can affect fertility.
  • Period pain that stops you working, going to school or living your life is not normal. Ask about endometriosis.
  • A scan can show some signs; a keyhole operation (laparoscopy) confirms it.
  • Treatment depends on your pain and your plans to conceive: pain relief, surgery, or going straight to IVF.
FOR HIMLow sperm countCommon, often treatable, and nothing to be ashamed of.Read
  • Sperm take about three months to develop, so changes in lifestyle show up in a repeat test months later.
  • A urologist or andrologist can check hormones and look for common, treatable causes such as a varicocele (swollen veins in the scrotum).
  • Testosterone, steroids and some “strength” supplements can switch off sperm production.
  • With IVF, a technique called ICSI injects a single sperm into each egg, which helps when the count or movement is low.
SECOND CHILDTrying for a second childSecondary infertility is real, and so is your grief.Read
  • Struggling to conceive after already having a child is common.
  • Things can change since last time: age, weight, infections, a caesarean scar, or his sperm.
  • The same guide applies: see a doctor after 12 months of trying if under 35, or after 6 months if 35 or older.
  • “At least you have one” does not cancel your longing. Your wait matters.
LOSSAfter pregnancy lossGentle facts for a painful time.Read
  • Most early miscarriages happen because of a chromosome problem in the pregnancy. It is not something you did.
  • After two or more losses, ask your doctor about tests. Guidelines differ on when to start.
  • Tests may include blood tests for clotting and thyroid problems, a scan of the womb, and sometimes chromosome tests.
  • Give yourself time to grieve. Rainbow Corner is there whenever you are ready.
MONEYWhat IVF really costsBudget for the whole journey, not one cycle.Read
  • In 2024, reports put one IVF cycle at about ₦2.1 million, and some specialists quoted ₦4 to 5 million at well-known clinics (Nairametrics, Oct 2024). Prices have risen fast, so always get a fresh quote.
  • The quoted price is often not the full price. Ask what it includes: consultations, tests, drugs, scans, egg collection, embryo transfer, freezing and storage.
  • Drugs can be a big part of the bill, and their price moves with the exchange rate.
  • Many couples need more than one cycle. Ask about multi-cycle packages, refunds if a cycle is cancelled, and the yearly cost of storing frozen embryos.
  • Use the cost planner below this list to add it all up before you commit.
MONEYChoosing a clinicQuestions to ask and red flags to watch for.Read
  • Nigeria has about 180 IVF clinics, so it pays to compare.
  • Ask for their results for women your age, and whether they count a positive pregnancy test or a baby born.
  • Ask for an itemised quote in writing, and what is not included.
  • Ask who will do your procedures, whether there is an embryologist on site, and how embryos are stored.
  • Red flags: a guaranteed pregnancy, pressure to pay today, refusing to give results in writing, or extras pushed on you without explanation.
TREATMENTIVF, step by stepWhat actually happens, so it feels less scary.Read
  • Stimulation: about 10 to 12 days of hormone injections to grow several eggs, with scans to check progress.
  • Egg collection: a short procedure under sedation.
  • Fertilisation: eggs and sperm are joined in the lab and the embryos grow for 3 to 5 days.
  • Transfer: an embryo is placed in the womb, then the two-week wait before a pregnancy test.
  • Success depends a lot on age. Ask any clinic for their results for women your age, and for an itemised quote: drugs, scans, procedures and freezing.
TREATMENTIUI explainedA simpler treatment that is sometimes tried before IVF.Read
  • In IUI, prepared sperm is placed in the womb around ovulation, sometimes with medicine to help you ovulate.
  • It needs at least one open tube and sperm that is reasonably healthy.
  • It is less invasive and costs less than IVF, but each cycle has a lower chance of success, so a few cycles are often tried.
  • Ask your doctor how many IUI cycles make sense before moving to IVF.
AGEAge, eggs and egg freezingWhat age really means for fertility.Read
  • You are born with all your eggs. Their number and quality fall with age, faster after about 35.
  • AMH gives a guide to how many eggs you have, not how good they are.
  • Egg freezing works best when done younger, ideally before 35, and it is not a guarantee.
  • Men’s fertility also declines with age, more slowly.
OTHER PATHSOther paths to parenthoodDonor eggs or sperm, surrogacy and adoption.Read
  • Some families grow through donor eggs or sperm, surrogacy or adoption. Each comes with medical, legal, emotional and faith questions.
  • Ask your clinic about counselling and the rules they follow, and speak to a lawyer about the legal side.
  • Adoption in Nigeria goes through the courts and state social welfare offices, so start with them.
  • Considering another path is not giving up.
EVERYDAYFertility-friendly habitsSmall things that help, for both of you.Read
  • Take folic acid (400 micrograms a day) while trying. It protects a baby’s spine in early pregnancy.
  • Aim for a healthy weight; being very under or over can affect ovulation.
  • Stop smoking, cut down alcohol, and keep caffeine moderate (about two cups of coffee a day at most).
  • Check every medicine and supplement with your doctor, and avoid unregulated herbal mixtures.
  • All of this applies to him too.
FAMILYTalking to family and in-lawsGentle words for hard questions.Read
  • You do not owe anyone an update.
  • Try: “When there’s news, you’ll be the first to know.” Or: “Please pray with me, but please don’t ask me.”
  • Pick one ally in the family who can quietly steer conversations away from you.
  • Your husband should speak to his own family. It is not your job to defend yourself.
  • It is okay to skip an event that would break your heart.
MYTHSMyths we hear a lotGently, the truth.Read
  • “It’s always the woman.” Not true. Men’s fertility is involved in many couples.
  • “Just relax and it will happen.” Stress is real and hard, but it is rarely the main cause. You did not do this to yourself.
  • “This herb or concoction will open your tubes or flush your womb.” No herb can open blocked tubes, and unregulated mixtures can harm your kidneys, liver or a pregnancy.
  • “If you had one child easily, the next will be easy.” Second-time waits are common and real. Get checked like anyone else.

These guides are general information to help you understand your options. They are not medical advice and don’t replace a doctor who knows your history.

MONEY

IVF cost planner

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One cycle

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Later cycles can cost less if you use frozen embryos. Ask your clinic, and keep a cushion for surprises.

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